Good news for all you kids with early bedtimes - The Sept 13 presentation of "PRETENÇIÓN: un cirque de burlesque, un burlesque de cirque" in now at 8:00pm!

Now, you can experience the "enchantment, affectation, and boobs" of Pinchbottom's PRETENÇIÓN a full two hours earlier than originally advertised.

So: "At 8:00pm on Saturday Sept 13, SPIEGELWORLD, the leader in antique-tent-based entertainment in NYC and beyond, is pleased to announce a brand-new world-premiere event developed by Pinchbottom especially for the venue. Joining the ranks of Spiegelworld hits like "Absinthe", "La Vie", and "Desir" comes Pinchbottom's PRETENÇIÓN -- un cirque de burlesque, un burlesque de cirque."

Sat, Sept 13 @ 8:00pm & Sat, Oct 18 @ 10:00pm
PRETENÇIÓN un cirque de burlesque, un burlesque de cirque

Starring NASTY CANASTA & JONNY PORKPIE, plus BASTARD KEITH, NAUGHTIA NICE, and TIGGER!, with special guest stars 9/13: AMBER RAY & MUFFINHEAD, CLAMS CASINO, CREAMY STEVENS, TRIXIE LITTLE & THE EVIL HATE MONKEY and 10/18: DELIRIUM TREMENS, DIRTY MARTINI, GIGI LA FEMME, LITTLE BROOKLYN

Spiegelworld @ Fulton Fish Market
South Street Seaport, Pier 17, under the Brooklyn Bridge
Admission: $20 | Ticketing services provided by Ticket Central, 212-279-4200, Noon to 8pm Daily, or Book online at www.spiegelworld.com
http://www.pinchbottom.com/tickets/

Step into the world of Pretençión -— but be careful not to trip on the magic.

Bonjour, mes amis! Pince Derrier, le premiere burlesquery en les city de New York, returneth con un show nuevo, en las lenguas de.... Pretençión.

A SPIEGELWORLD premiere. Pretençión is the place where Mystery sits at a table with Elegance, and Imagination orders a round of drinks before dinner. It is a world where those drinks are served by a pompous clown. Join Pinchbottom on a sensual quest for Pretençión, an imaginary yet sexy element that turns burlesque performers from "Jerkques" (ordinary people) into self-important "Cirques": infuriatingly magical, unendurably spellbinding artistes who peel away the mundane with every layer of clothing. Step into the world of Pretençión -- but be careful not to trip on the magic. Starring Nasty Canasta & Jonny Porkpie, plus Bastard Keith, Naughtia Nice, and Tigger!, with special guest stars 9/13: Amber Ray & Muffinhead, Clams Casino, Creamy Stevens, and Trixie Little & The Evil Hate Monkey and 10/18: Delirium Tremens, Dirty Martini, GiGi La Femme, and Little Brooklyn

10:00pm Saturday September 13 & October 18, 2008

PRETENÇIÓN: Un cirque de burlesque, un burlesque de cirque
Spiegelworld @ Fulton Fish Market
South Street Seaport, Pier 17, under the Brooklyn Bridge

TICKETS: $20 - TICKETING SERVICES provided by Ticket Central,
212 279 4200, Noon to 8pm Daily or online at SPIEGELWORLD.COM


Why does Porkpie hold a clock? Why does Porkpie hold a clock?

President Jonny Porkpie takes a stand.

A queer and pleasant danger.

We rode Jo's coattails onto CBS! Whee!

Tonight @ 10pm, Pinchbottom is repeating one of our favorite shows of all time -- a show we've been looking forward to doing again since it debuted in October 2006.

SLUMBER PARTY IN PINK -- we can say from experience -- is one of the silliest and most fun of the Pinchbottom shows, but also one of the sexiest. I mean, when you put ten naughty burlesque stars in bed together, what do you expect?

BUY TIX: Tonight @ 10pm

Here's what happens: When Nasty decides to have a sleepover with her burly-Q girlfriends, she kicks Jonny out of the house for the night. While the Nasty and the gals play slumber party games and perform a delicious variety of burlesque numbers (in varying shades of pink), Porkpie -- with a little help from his friends -- will try every harebrained scheme in the book to get himself back into the party.

SLUMBER PARTY IN PINK features some fantastic numbers that can ONLY be seen at this show -- including a four-person duet fan dance from Nasty Canasta, Delirium Tremens, Jonny Porkpie, and Clarke Westfield, and a scantily-clad pillow fight starring the whole cast!

But that's not all: you'll also see favorites -- sultry, sexy, silly, and even scary -- from Anita Cookie, Clams Casino, Julie Atlas Muz, Precious Little, and World Famous *BOB*. Plus! brand new for this weekend, a world-premiere multimedia number by Creamy Stevens that must be seen to be believed! (And you won't want to miss Naughtia Nice & Bastard Keith's rendition of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".)

This is your last chance to catch this fantastic show for at least another year. So, our beautiful friends, don't miss the hot pink fun!

SLUMBER PARTY IN PINK
TONIGHT (Fri March 21) @ 10pm
(Additional performance tomorrow, Sat March 22 @ 10pm)
Collective:Unconscious, 279 Church Street, TriBeCa
More info: http://www.pinchbottom.com/

SciFi blog io9 visits the photos from Pinchbottom's "Naked Planet," and it likes what it sees.

"We're pretty sure there was never an episode of Doctor Who in the 1970s where Leela, the barbarian warrior, pulls out her giant knife and slices the Doctor's clothes off... and the Doctor turns out to be a woman. And then Leela loses her jungle bikini and they both end up wearing nothing but panties and the Doctor's scarf. The only place you can see that scenario play out is at a burlesque show like the Pinchbottom Burlesque, which is taking the love of science fiction to a whole new level."

Full article here.

The commenters are pleased, as well. A sampling:

- by zeppelined at 02:11 PM: "I think combining boobs and sci-fi is like the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup of life"
- by hageesheart at 02:24 PM: "... How can something so wrong be so right? I learn new and disturbing things about myself almost daily, I swear."
- by 905 at 03:14 PM: "Best. Pasties. Ever."
- by regis at 04:22 PM: "i'm kind of squeeing right here right now. boobies and genderfuck and hard core nerding? aww yeah."

from Telegraph.co.uk's Travel Section February 11, 2008
The Big Apple with sauce on the side
Vaudeville's naughty cousin is back - and nowhere is it more popular than in New York. Rodney Bolt enjoys an evening of irony and titillation.

EXCERPTS:
"...A dancer drops the last stitch of clothing to reveal, not what one might expect, but a moustachioed Groucho Marx mask. In New York burlesque is back - but with a difference...."

"My friend Dora - about as deep a denizen of Manhattan as you can get - took me along to two of the best nights in town. Pinchbottom Burlesque offers shows that change monthly, at Collective: Unconcious in Tribeca on the Lower West Side. Tribeca (the Triangle Below Canal Street), once derelict and neglected, has over the past few years become a hotbed of restaurants and hip clubs. "This part of town is just so transformed," said Dora, as our taxi deposited us at the hole-in-a-wall entrance to Collective: Unconcious... "

"The lights dimmed, manic movie music began, and we were off. Jonny Porkpie and Nasty Canasta stepped on stage to host the show - a Marx Brothers send-up, loosely following a storyline about saving an ailing theatre by turning it into a bawdy-house. Along the way came risqué magic tricks, a peek-a-boo performance by a tattooed lady, many a cheeky flash from male and female performers alike, the odd nostalgic burlesque routine, and the hint of a lesbian sub-plot."

"It was daring, funny, imaginative and titillating to all tastes - and, at $15 a ticket, about as good entertainment value as you can get in New York City."

Full Article | Slideshow


Whoo!

Love it or hate it, Valentine's Day is a grim inevitability for us all. But no matter what feelings you have for this annual celebration of the beheading of a Christian saint in the year 269BCE, Pinchbottom can improve your V-Day weekend (and the activities therein) with The Pinchbottom Institute's Groundbreaking New Live Seminar: HOW TO SEX (a do-it yourself guide.)

HOW TO SEX (a do-it-yourself guide)
Friday, February 15 & Saturday, February 16 @ 10pm

HOW TO SEX (a do-it-yourself guide) covers every aspect of intercourse in a series of ten easy burlesque-based lessons, all presented live on stage. From choosing the best partner or equipment -- to accurately undressing -- to correctly putting the right thing in, around, or on the other thing -- to cleaning up afterwards, the ins and outs of this difficult and confusing task are examined in explicit detail. Each and every facet of sex will be exposed and explored -- even the minor ones, like love and romance!

Let the sexy experts of The Pinchbottom Institute For The Sex gently guide you through the simple steps necessary to make you -- yes, you! -- a whiz at HOW TO SEX. Led by "Doctor" NASTY CANASTA and "Professor" JONNY PORKPIE (who, as a married couple, have sexed together several times), the seminar also features sex-educational burlesque and variety acts from ANITA COOKIE, BASTARD KEITH, CLAMS CASINO, DELIRIUM TREMENS, JO BOOBS, LITTLE BROOKLYN, NAUGHTIA NICE, SCOTT RAYOW, SCHAFFER THE DARKLORD, and special guest from Seattle, WA, HEIDI VON HAUGHT of the Von Foxies, who will demonstrate the West Coast methods of sexing. Combined, our courteous and professional staff has over 180 years of training in both sex AND making other people want to sex.

Act now! This extraordinary offer is available for TWO NIGHTS ONLY, Friday February 15 and Saturday February 16 at 10pm. Whether you're flying solo and starting sex from scratch, or a committed couple that just wants to pick up a few pointers, Pinchbottom's HOW TO SEX (a do-it-yourself guide) is the perfect addition to any Valentine's Day weekend plans!

Collective:Unconscious presents
PINCHBOTTOM'S SUB:CONSCIOUS
2/15 & 2/16 @ 10pm
HOW TO SEX (a do-it-yourself guide)
Admission $15 | Beer & Wine Bar
Collective:Unconscious, 279 Church Street, TriBeCa

MORE SNEAK PREVIEW PHOTOS (nsfw, of cours)
TICKETS & PACKAGES: Buy here

Ah, the joy that we get from our holiday show!
With one night all done, and one night still to go
How was last night's performance? Well, in a word: "Wow!"
So click on the link, and you'll buy tickets now!

As the end approaches for the year 2007, so much the quicker doth approach Pinchbottom's final show of the year.

In fact, 'tis is a few short days:



When NASTY CANASTA takes charge of the Holiday Pageant, she fills "the 12 Days of Xmas" with nudity, using burlesque stars for sexy tributes to each traditional "true love" present. But "The Pinch" (JONNY PORKPIE) wants to keep Xmas clean and pure, and so dresses up as Burlesque Santa to kidnap each and every performer in the show. Will "The Pinch" have a change of heart in time to save Nasty's pageant? Or will X-mas remain forever G-rated? There's no better way to celebrate the 4th and 5th nights of Hanukka than...?

HOW THE PINCH STOLE XMAS
Holiday Burlesque

THIS WEEKEND!
Fri December 7th & Sat Dec 8th at 10pm
Collective:Unconscious, 279 Church Street, Tribeca

hosted by NASTY CANASTA & JONNY PORKPIE
starring THE 12 DAYS OF XMAS
12 Drummers Drumming
ANITA COOKIE & SCOTT RAYOW
11 Pipers Piping JONNY PORKPIE
10 Lords-a-Leaping TIGGER!
9 Ladies Dancing ROSE WOOD
8 Maids-a-Milking PEEKABOO POINTE
7 Swans-a-Swimming DELIRIUM TREMENS
6 Geese-a-Laying BAMBI THE MERMAID
5 Golden Rings of MISS SATURN
4 Calling Birds NASTY CANASTA
3 French Hens THE COMPANY
2 Turtle Doves BASTARD KEITH & NAUGHTIA NICE
and GIGI LA FEMME in a pear tree

Don't miss your chance. Tickets for Friday night are almost sold out. Buy tickets for Saturday.

Parkside @ 8pm: Everybody's favorite profession-guessing gameshow on the Lower East side! Clams Casino and Neil O'Fortune bring you WHAT'S MY LINE, with Jonny Porkpie as a panelist!
Parkside Lounge, 317 East Houston

...then, it's just a short walk to...

Slipper Room @ 10pm: Pinchbottom scratches the 7-year itch with COUPLES THERAPY, an evening of post-nuptial burlesque by the married. See wedded bliss undressed by DELIRIUM TREMENS & CLARKE WESTFIELD, PEEKABOO POINTE & KENNY LAW, CLAMS CASINO & NEIL O'FORTUNE, and of course NASTY CANASTA & JONNY PORKPIE (plus a special appearance by MEL & FANNY FRYE). Tie the knot! Unhook the bra!
The Slipper Room, 167 Orchard Street

"WEAKNESSES: PINCHBOTTOM is incapable of paying any attention to his job if in the presence of even a marginally attractive Earth female."

full story

Some nice press this week from the Voice -- and check out page 40 of the print edition for one of Ted D'Otavios funky photos!

Spread 'Em, Bitch Crime Fighting Hotties: Charlie’s Angels, Starsky & Hutch, and Police Woman were all classic cop shows of the ’70s, but to the creators of Pinchbottom Burlesque, they all lacked one vital detail: nudity. Now the best burlesque show in town seeks to ratify that with its new crime-fighting caper P.I.N.C.H. Squad (Police Investigative Narcotics, Counter-feiting, and Hootchy-kootch). Set in Disco City, the story follows the funkadelic policeman Jonny Porkpie and his team of sexy detectives on a mission to stop the roller-skating crime boss Nasty Canasta and her illicit burlesque and counterfeiting ring. The lineup includes cuties Little Brooklyn, Darlinda Just Darlinda, and Anita Cookie. Undoubtedly, strip searches will be a recurrent theme. (Angela Ashman)

Help! We're being held hostage by a randy stuffed bear! If you don't come see BURLESQUE FOR KIDS (not for kids) next Friday or Saturday at 10pm, he'll make us ( do dirty, dirty things... )



10pm FRI AUGUST 17 & 10pm SAT AUGUST 18
BURLESQUE FOR KIDS! (Not for Kids)
hosted by: Nasty Canasta, Jonny Porkpie, starring: Anita Cookie, Bastard Keith, Darlinda Just Darlinda, Jo Boobs, Little Brooklyn, Naughtia Nice, Precious Little, Schaffer The Darklord, special guests: Fri - Delirium Tremens, Lola Pearl, Miss Tickle Sat - Miss Saturn, Trixie Little, World Famous *bob*

BUY TIX: 8/17 or 8/18


NOW EVEN EASIER: vote for Pinchbottom's November show. Enter your email below, and we'll send you the a private voting link, and add you to our mailing list to let you know who wins!

We love democracy, yes we do. We love it so much that we're celebrating the traditional month of American democracy by allowing you, the public, to elect which show we re-run in November!

So why not come on over to our polling place, you sexy thing, and stuff our ballot box? It makes us tingle.

Voting will remain open through August 31, and we'll announce the winning show in early September. Plus, to make it just that much more fun, one lucky voter will recieve an 11x17 print of the poster from that show!

VOTE HERE, Good Citizens!

Friday night's show is almost sold out!
There are just a few presale tickets left for the July 20 performance of Pinchbottom's BOTTOMS OVER BROADWAY burlesque goes legit.

Buy Tickets Now at http://www.pinchbottom.com/tickets/

But if you can't grab one of those last few Friday tickets, there's no need to panic -- Pinchbottom is now running for 2 consecutive nights. Presale Tickets are still available for the Saturday, July 21 performance! Get 'em while they're hot! Don't miss your chance to see:

-ANITA COOKIE & SCOTT RAYOW hunt down & kill "THE LION KING"
-AMBER RAY shut out "DAMN YANKEES"
-BASTARD KEITH & NAUGHTIA NICE slice into "SPAMALOT"
-BELLE MORTE-BEAUDELAIRE barber "SWEENEY TODD"
-BONNIE DUNN undress "MY FAIR LADY"
-CLAMS CASINO give no quarter to JUKEBOX MUSICALS
-DELIRIUM TREMENS beat "FLOWER DRUM SONG"
-GIGI LA FEMME knock the wind out of "CHICAGO"
-JONNY PORKPIE trip over "A CHORUS LINE"
-LUKKI plant "GREY GARDENS"
-NASTY CANASTA shatter "THE GLASS MENAGERIE"
-PEEKABOO POINTE sink into "SOUTH PACIFIC"
-TIGGER do "ANNIE"
-and THE COMPANY neuter "CATS"

That's 13 Broadway shows for the price of a drink in a Broadway theater. Plus, far more nudity. What a bargain! (As an added bonus, fully ten--count 'em, 10--of the numbers in the show are brand-new WORLD PREMIERES!)

Buy Tickets Now

There's plenty of naked fun planned for summer, bringing us right up to the first day of fall! To wit:

MONDAY, JULY 16 @ 10pm:
Pinchbottom's ART VS. COMMERCE @ Galapagos Artspace
As the so-called "Artspace" is driven out of its longtime home by rampant development, Pinchbottom asks: Who will win the eternal battle of ART VS. COMMERCE? Art, with its haughty attitude and pretensions of relevance? Or commerce, which would tear down the Mona Lisa if it could build luxury apartments on the spot it once stood? Hosts Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie are joined by Lukki, Peekaboo Pointe, and a special surprise guest, to present a completely unbiased burlesque analysis.
Galapagos Artspace, 70 North 6th Street, Williamsburg - $5 - galapagosartspace.com

FRI, JULY 20 & SAT JULY 21 @ 10pm:
BOTTOMS OVER BROADWAY @ Collective:Unconscious
When Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie are offered the chance to bring Pinchbottom to Broadway, they immediately call on all of the talented and wonderful people who helped make their off-off-Broadway show such a hit... to ask them to audition, Chorus Line-style. But can Amber Ray, Anita Cookie, Bastard Keith, Belle Baudelaire, Bonnie Dunn, Clams Casino, Delirium Tremens, Gigi La Femme, Lukki, Naughtia Nice, Peekaboo Pointe, Scott Rayow, and Tigger! help Pinchbottom hit just the right balance of schlock, cheese and overblown production numbers necessary to appeal to a Broadway audience? (Part of the UndergroundZero festival at C:U)
Collective: Unconscious, 279 Church Street, Tribeca - $15 - weird.org

SAT, JULY 28 @ 10pm: RAISING THE BAR @ Rififi
Pinchbottom joins Sweet & Nasty and Starshine for a show celebrating our favorite Rififi bartender!
Rififi, 332 East 11th Street, East Village - $15 - rififinyc.com

FRI, AUGUST 17 & SAT, AUG 18 @ 10pm:
BURLESQUE FOR KIDS (not for kids) @ C:U
Finally, a burlesque show for the whole family! (Except the kids.) Yes, everybody from the young to the young at heart (actual young will not be admitted) will enjoy this brightly-colored show designed especially for children! (Not suitable for children.) With puppets! Animation! Costumed characters! And tributes to some of the greatest children's shows of all time! (18+ only. ID required.)
Collective: Unconscious, 279 Church Street, Tribeca - $15 - weird.org

SAT, AUG 25 @ 9PM:
BIKINI BLOWOUT AT BURLESQUE BEACH @ Southpaw, Park Slope
The BURLESQUE ALLIANCE presents the third of their seasonal quarterlies at Southpaw. Eighteen local performers get sand and surf in all sorts of places for your summer burlesque enjoyment.
Southpaw, 125 5th Avenue, Park Slope - $15 - spsounds.com

FRI, SEPTEMBER 7 @ 10pm:
PINCHBOTTOMLAND AMUSEMENT PARK @ Coney Island
Pinchbottom visits Burlesque at the Beach to reveal a much sexier plan for the development of Coney Island: a burlesque theme park. Our rides and attractions will be much more exciting than anything Thor Equities can offer: Our Roller Coaster has the most dangerous curves around, our Bumper Cars both bump and grind, and as for our Tunnel of Love... well, you'll just have to come see for yourself. Warning: first few rows may get wet.
Sideshows by the Seashore, 1208 Surf Ave, Coney Island - $15 - coneyisland.com

FRI, SEPT 21 & SAT, SEPT 22 @ 10pm:
70s COP SHOW BURLESQUE @ Collective:Unconscious
Funkadelic police officers Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie try to solve crime in the disco era. But can they discover who stole the country's fashion sense? You've never been happier to see clothes come off.
Collective: Unconscious, 279 Church Street, Tribeca - $15 - weird.org

Pack a picnic! Put some ants in your pants! Because this is going to be the Best Summer Ever!*

*Results may vary

Those of you for whom I have an email address will know this already, but for those for whom I have not...

Exotic World, for some reason, is letting me run their poker tournament, and by golly, you should play in it. (That is, if you're coming to EW.) My goal is to make this the Vegas equivalent of a poker game in the living room... A bunch of friends (old and new) sitting around playing cards. To encourage people of all skill levels to play, the buy-in was cut to half of what it was last year.

Seriously, isn't it worth it to come home and say you played poker in Vegas? With Exotic Worlders? Don't forget, this is the Friday night afterparty. And when you're sitting at the poker tables, you drink for free. The buy-in will probably be far cheaper than sitting at the bar.

Oh, this will be fun. Forward this to those you want to challenge.

-Porkpie

----PERTINENT INFO-----

Looking for a Vegas poker tournament where the tension is high and the stakes are higher? This isn't the game for you. It's strictly fun at...

THE OFFICIAL 2007 EXOTIC WORLD POKER TOURNAMENT
Friday Night's Afterparty Event

Game: No Limit Texas Hold 'em
Buy-in: $50
Location: Binion's - http://www.binions.com/
Time: After Friday Night's Exotic World 50th Annual Striptease Reunion Showcase, approx 1:30am Morning of Sat 6/9
Dress Code: Strictly Burlesque. No baseball caps, T-shirts, or shorts
Skill level: Open to all, especially beginners
CLOSED EVENT: Open only to Exotic World Performers, Staff, Volunteers, and Ticketholders.

(For those who do not wish to play poker, rumor has it that the tables are located near to the Lounge featuring Mechanical Bull.)

---
To register for the tournament, email the below info to ewpoker@jonnyporkpie.com

Full Name (or Stage Name):
Contact Email:
Contact Phone:
Exotic World Affiliation: (i.e. Performer, Staff, Ticketholder)

On Saturday, we're doing a shortened version our first Pinchbottom's Sub:Conscious show ever, BLASPHEMY!, at the Women's Project. (Very nearly on the one-year anniversary of the show, in fact.)

So I pulled out the old script to shorten, edit, and revise.

And this is how long the script was:

5 pages.


Our most recent script, for The Pinch Brothers show: 28 pages.

So that's how far we've come in a year: 23 pages.